Kickass, the doorstop dog, shares the keeper’s concern over what to do about the absence of football weekends in Madison and elsewhere due to the coronavirus. The image of thousands of red-garbed people stumbling aimlessly about the city looking for something to cheer about is not pleasant to contemplate. The keeper is suggesting that those Badger fans who find it impossible to comply with the coronavirus stay-home edict on autumn weekends, should put on their masks and their red jackets and walk to Lodi to visit Susie the Duck at her downtown nest.
The exercise would be better for them than sitting on their duffs at Camp Randall and jumping up occasionally to shout at some kid running with a football. An alternative weekend suggestion would be to ride the bike trail to New Glarus and drink several bottles of Spotted Cow, which, as everyone knows, is sold only in Wisconsin and thus alludes to what it takes to be a faithful Badger fan.
In place of the money spent for the exorbitantly priced UW football tickets, the keeper is suggesting that wandering fans head for State Street and throw currency into the UW Library mall fountain, where it will be retrieved by needy students who are not on athletic scholarships.