Kickass advises bear

Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in advising the black bear that has been roaming the west Madison area: for god’s sake go back to your den and get back to sleep, it is still winter in all of Wisconsin and if your hibernation clock tells you it is time to get up and get out, you need a new clock.

Your size indicates that you are young, perhaps in the student range, and while Madison is a great place for your age group, it is also the home of many older, more opiniated residents, so if an older bear-like human growls at you, pay attention, they are probably recruiting you into the ranks of some liberal outfit that hawks blue underwear.

Buy some of it and wear it since a black bear in blue underwear could have significant political clout in Madison.

In the off chance that you hang around until you are an old bear, the keeper and Phyllis recommend Madison as an excellent retirement locale. You could perhaps conduct classes on how to extend Wisconsin hibernation on into May.

The keeper and Phyllis are already signed up.

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