Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s rules of conduct for having a 92nd birthday:
*Do not start any fights of a physical nature.
*Respect your elders.
*If you think you have acquired any wisdom, volunteer for a clinical trial to detect “sawdust in the aging brain.”
*Do not limit your thinking to the past but join in the planning for viewing the next appearance of Haley’s comet in mid 2061.
*Eat and drink with the same lack of discipline that has served so well over the years.
*Plan ahead when picking up a dropped item, having decided first of all if the item really needs to be picked up.
*Those people who love you–love them back.
*If you live with someone, thank them for putting up with your creaking mechanics and the inclination to express your cemented-in opinions. (Take a bow, Phyllis!)
*Eat a big breakfast and assume you will be around to do it again tomorrow.
*Thank everyone for the happy birthday wishes.