Kickass and 92nd birthday

Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s rules of conduct for having a 92nd birthday:

         *Do not start any fights of a physical nature.

         *Respect your elders.

         *If you think you have acquired any wisdom, volunteer for a clinical trial to detect “sawdust in the aging brain.”

         *Do not limit your thinking to the past but join in the planning for viewing the next appearance of Haley’s comet in mid 2061.

         *Eat and drink with the same lack of discipline that has served so well over the years.

         *Plan ahead when picking up a dropped item, having decided first of all if the item really needs to be picked up.

         *Those people who love you–love them back.

         *If you live with someone, thank them for putting up with your creaking mechanics and the inclination to express your cemented-in opinions. (Take a bow, Phyllis!)

         *Eat a big breakfast and assume you will be around to do it again tomorrow.

         *Thank everyone for the happy birthday wishes.

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