Kickass and Barbara Bush

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper, forever in a reminiscence mode, and sensitive to the welfare of those who rank just above his advanced age group, tells this about Barbara and George H.W. Bush, both of whom are currently suffering the ravages of old age. Kickass found the story interesting because there was a dog in it.

The keeper was a columnist with the Chicago Tribune in the ‘80’s when George was the Veep; and one day Barbara came through town on a book tour for a book promoting literacy which they said had been written by the Bush’s dog Millie.  Since nobody on the Tribune staff saw fit to cover Barbara’s appearance, the keeper, always looking for column material and being a bit of a smart ass, thought he would go ask Barbara what she said to George a month or so ago when– according to widespread reports, he fell down in a Milwaukee bowling alley.  A bowling-alley pratfall is something most readers could identify with, and to hear of the Vice-president doing it and what his wife said about it would make for a natural column.

Finally alone with Barbara and her aide in a plush hotel suite, The keeper listened to Barbara talk about Millie’s book, and she autographed a copy for the keeper’s wife, and then he asked Barbara the big question: What did you say to the vice president about falling down in that Milwaukee bowling alley?

The term “pregnant silence” may have originated for this precise occasion.  Barbara starred as if she did not understand the question.  But she did.  She also understood that she had a wise guy on her hands—probably a Democrat, and it was time for him to get the hell out of her sight, which happened under the approving eye of a couple of Secret Service agents who had been waiting out in the hall.

Years later, in one of his rare cleaning frenzies, the keeper mistakenly threw away Millie’s book, which was disappointing for Kickass to hear because he might have wanted to chew on it.  Anyway, both Kickass and the keeper wish Barbara and George H.W. well and hope they both live many more years.