Kickass, the doorstop dog, is doing his best to help the keeper make sense of Black Friday, which everyone knows is named after a couple of scoundrels who tried to game the financial world back in 1869.
So okay, everyone doesn’t know that, and neither did the keeper until he did a Google. And there it was: a clear history of two, rich smartass jerks manipulating the system to the disadvantage of a slack-jawed populace. It turned out that they got caught, but escaped any accountability because, well, because they were rich bankers who are never held accountable–think 2008 financial disaster.
Actually Black Friday is related to the mysterious Black holes in outer space that cannot be seen but show up on credit card statements and overdraft notices. One of the first attempts to photograph a black hole showed it to be in an empty wallet that became the official Black Friday logo.
If the coronavirus could ever produce anything laudable, it might be a modest curtailment of the door-buster mob scenes of previous Black Fridays. And those shoppers who do succumb to ridiculous Black Friday ads will at least be wearing masks to obscure their identity.
Neither the keeper nor Phyllis will be among the Black Friday participants, both having tested positive for limited brain activity. Kickass says Black Friday to him is closing his eyes to nap between sessions of eating Thanksgiving leftovers.