Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes the keeper’s fixation on accounts of survival—his age may be a factor; and in that vein he would like to pass on just how he and Phyllis survived the inane Black Friday weekend.
It began when the keeper noted that they were out of milk, an essential ingredient to survival in the keeper’s judgement, not so much with Phyllis who has been known to refer to the keeper as a “troubled calf.”
The two of them, forgetting that Black Friday turns everyone into shopping-mad zombies, ventured out onto Mineral Point Road just after a rear-ender accident requiring emergency vehicles and brooms to sweep up the broken glass.
Obviously there was no traffic movement as thousands of drivers ganged onto Mineral Point as the place to be for competitive shoppers.
In the end, the keeper scored a half-gallon of skim-milk at Walgreens where Phyllis picked up a prescription and they then drove home on traffic-free Tree Lane, the keeper vowing not to venture out again until next May.
The keeper is comfortable judging the Black Friday weekend as a success on the basis of successfully shopping for a half gallon of skim milk. He thanks all involved: the farmer, the milk-hauler and the cow.