Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis joined the many friends of Chan McKelvey Sunday to help celebrate Chan’s 90th birthday. It was a tumultuous occasion with wild dancing and riotous music and countless altercations and even fist fights over minor political issues, not to mention Chan’s announcement that he was running for president on the platform of free Spotted Cow for everyone over the age of 85. Many of the attendees arrived on skateboards, a few on Harleys, and 93-year-old Bernie came across the lake on a stand-up paddle board. Very expensive gifts were brought to Chan, with the keeper giving him the Hope Diamond. Chan said being 90 is a lot better than not being 90. The keeper agrees, of course, and adds that at that age you really know how to party.