Kickass

Kickass and christmas shopping

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has finished his Christmas shopping and vice versa.  Though abbreviated as much as possible, the act of mingling with the masses this year in the spending spree that defines Christmas was just as ridiculous as it has always been.  And then the keeper saw him—the typical lost man with hesitant steps pausing in an aisle with a mixed expression of fear, desperation and hopelessness.   It finally dawned on the keeper that he was looking into a full length mirror in the women’s swimwear department and he had no idea how he had gotten there or where he was going.  Later he could not find his car in the jammed parking lot, until he realized he had just upgraded and was looking for the wrong car.  Safely home at last—with a cheerful “Bah-humbug” ringing in his ears, the keeper poured a bit of toddy, and insisted that Phyllis listen while he sang a slightly altered version of his favorite Christmas song, “Grandpa got run over by a reindeer, shopping for this house on Christmas eve.  You may not think there should be a Santa but as for me I see a real need.”

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