Kickass and different holidays

Kickass, the doorstop dog, has inside information that the alterations being made to the 4^th of July celebration by the orange narcissist is just the beginning of holiday manipulation: Citizens can expect their Thanksgiving tables to be anchored by roast peacocks and Russian rutabagas; while Christmas Santa Clauses will be required to dye their white beards orange, and only those citizens living in mansions and voting Republican will be permitted to have Christmas trees in the interests of saving the rain forests.  There are other plans afoot—only White House occupants authorized to lay Easter eggs, and heart symbols banned from valentines, so there is much holiday fun to look forward to.  Kickass says he can’t wait for the next St. Patrick’s Day when orange beer will flow down the Potomac and Sen. McConnell will be played like a set of bagpipes.  Kickass wishes everyone a happy 4^th, and says to watch out for those damn army tanks.