Kickass

Kickass and eating people

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says that something akin to gerrymandering is what has patterned evolution of the dog-human relationship down through the ages; and that explains how the deal that wolves made to stop eating humans in exchange for a pampered place around the campfire is kept in place by slobbery sentiment, a gigantic pet industry and dogs’ collective conclusion that they have it pretty damn good.

But the dog-human arrangement appears to be threatened as the human pack structure collapses under the leadership of greedy alphas who are gerrymandered in as solidly as rogue uncles.

The prospect of evolutionary reversal looms, with the eventual resumption of dogs—as wolf descendants, putting humans back on their menu.

Kickass suggests that you might want to talk it over with your dog.  And he adds that something in his genes tells him that gerrymandered Republicans will not taste like chicken.

Two Scottish Terrier puppies wearing chef’s hats sitting near food and kitchen utensils. Approved by Denise Flaim August 2018.
Getty Images #186312477

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