Kickass, the doorstop dog, noting that the keeper, after so many years of writing Christmas parodies and smart-ass seasonal ranting, is incapable of resisting the urge to do it yet one more time:
“Ebenezer Trump had just blown out his candle and was pulling the bed covers up over his head to shut out reality when he heard a voice: ‘This is the ghost of elections past, Ebenezer Trump, and you must get the hell out of here because this is no longer your bed.’
“’Is that you, Voter Marley?’ Ebenezer Trump said, sticking his head up and brushing the extravagant comb-over out of his eyes.
“’Yes’ Voter Marley said. ‘I may have been dead for many years, but my spirit lives, and it is here to see that you get what is coming to you.’
“’And I assume that would be four more years as POTUS?’ Ebenezer Trump said.
“’Wrong, Ebenezer Trump: You are all done as the world’s most powerful narcissist, and from now on your tweeting will be as that of a sparrow. Now, get up and get out!’
“Ebenezer Trump pulled the covers back up over his head and mumbled, ‘You don’t count, Voter Marley, and I’m staying right here with all my crooked bedbug friends.’
“The spirit of Voter Marley, which had many magical powers, made a slight motion with his right hand; and Ebenezer Trump suddenly found himself walking toward Mara largo with Melanie on one arm and Stormy Daniels on the other, while a Christmas choir sang ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Manger’ and with Mitch trailing behind carrying Ebenezer’s golf bag.”
(Kickass apologizes for the keeper’s excesses, and joins him and Phyllis in wishing everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!)