Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along a Fox/White House version of the news as it might be reported and tweeted from the confines of the facility where the keeper and Phyllis are quarantined as part of Coventry’s coronavirus control measures:
Fox breaking news: “Multiple walker-users injured in 3rd floor melee following Tuesday’s GOP victory dance demands.”
White House tweet: “Coventry residents find Dem beans in Election Day soup, 2nd serving demanded.”
Hannity’s Fox comment: “Madison Independent Living facility declares war on state legislators not wearing masks. Canes and walking staffs weaponized.”
WH tweet: “Recount of jig-saw puzzle pieces on 4th floor table shows important border pieces missing. Dems blamed. Barr and Giuliani to investigate.
Tucker Carlson Fox commentary: “Gas fireplace in Coventry unit 422 clearly causing global warming but is left on by Dem occupants.”
WH tweet: “Former professional “word” guy humiliated in Scrabble game by non-gloating but smiling wife. Word guy concedes nothing, demands replay.”
Fox News wrap up: “Residents of Coventry unit 422 assert rights to continue to disseminate advice to family members despite social distancing, and assure everyone they are so far testing negative for coronavirus, but are displaying some early symptoms of stir-craziness.”