Kickass and groundhog 2025

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, using his rare ability to know almost everything before it happens, reports on the latest executive order from the current POTUS:

            “Executive Order # 365: Starting right now–this very minute, all groundhogs are hereby notified to turn in their shadows to the Department of Defense where they will be stored by Sec. Hegseth in the same closet where he keeps other rarely used things like honesty and decency. (Next to the Secretary’s liquor cabinet.)

            “To replace the valuable information previously gleaned from groundhog shadows, all Republican senators are commanded to continue to fear their own shadows and crawl back into their dank me-me burrows, thus giving citizens the message that there will be four more years of narcissistic dictatorial absurdity and the citizenry can pound sand.”

The keeper and Phyllis have personalized their shadow watching to give significance only to their own shadows. When they see their shadows it means that they are up and at ‘em for at least another day. If they do not see their shadows it might only mean they are sleeping late, which was not a bad idea on the wet, gray Groundhogs Day of 2025.