Kickass and Halloween dogs

Kickass, the doorstop dog, has asked the keeper to pass along the following Halloween proclamation:


Whereas cats, particularly black ones, have historically had a dominating pet role in Halloween festivities, and,

Whereas there are 470 million dogs in the world and only 370 million cats, and,

Whereas cats are provided with litterboxes and dogs must go outside—even on the coldest days, to do their business, and,

Whereas the dog “business” is picked up by dog keepers and brought home in plastic bags as if it were some kind of treasure, and,

Whereas tipping over outhouses was once a major Halloween activity (The keeper remembers it all.), and,

Whereas an indoor dog toilet could be designed and become part of every household, perhaps known as a “Canine Crappier,”

Therefore, I, Kickass, by the power vested in me, do therefore ordain that a major Halloween “trick” is to tip over cats’ litterboxes until the Canine Crappier becomes a cultural reality.

Signed this 25th day of October in the year 2020, just a few days before the “National Empty The Litterbox Day” of Nov. 3.


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