Kickass, the doorstop dog, works with the keeper in his—the keeper’s, relentless efforts to make nothing of something and will therefore be participating in the keeper’s attempt to attain true hibernation.
Prompted by the recent snowfall and the cold temperature, along with the Covid induced social isolation, the keeper will defy the scientists who say humans lost the ability to hibernate when they migrated from tropical environs, and when they discovered fire, clothes, shelter, hunting and agriculture. As one scientist put it, “Ancient tribes that tried to sleep through the winter would be quickly ousted by the guys in fur clothes sitting around the campfire in the next cave.”
While this may be the kind of scientific conjecture the keeper can identify with, it is not adequate deterrence, and as soon as this is written, he will be going to bed to attempt to prove the scientists wrong, and to try to avoid as much of January, February and March as possible.
While hibernating bears have their young in February without waking up, the keeper plans none of that kind of thing, but does plan to wake up Jan. 20 and join Phyllis in drinking several toasts to the new president, who happens to be Irish. He—the keeper, will then ask Phyllis to wake him again on March 17, which happens to be Phyllis’s birthday, and when she will obviously use her vast culinary skills to cook up some corned beef to go with the green beer.
There will be a party!