Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in encouraging the collective conclusion that things could be worse.
- You could be a member of the Cruz family, or simply live in Texas.
- Your brother-in-law could ask if he can live with you until the hubbub dies down over his beating of a Capital police person with a flag pole
- Fox News commentators could say there is no god, and the proof is in Hillary’s email.
- The house-broken dog could crap in the laundry room and try to blame it on the cat.
- The masked person you saw in the upstairs hall and thought was your visiting aunt Hilda could turn out to be Ivanka.
- Your neighbor could ask to store his 155 howitzer and 101 assault rifles in your garage until all Easter egg hunts have been concluded.
- Sen. Ron Johnson could ask you to serve on his sheer and shameless bullshit committee.
- You could fall on your ass in icy slush and break or bruise sensitive parts of your body.
- You could get a letter from the IRS directing you to turn yourself in to the nearest Federal Marshall’s office.
- A recount of votes could show that Rudy Giuliani was elected president and is to be inaugurated along with vise president Stormy Daniels.
(Kickass and the keeper expect only simple adulation for helping everyone through these things-could-be-worse days, though they will accept solid and liquid treats.)