Kickass and keeping the weight down

Kickass, the doorstop dog, noting that at least half the human populace struggles to maintain a healthy weight–in the keeper’s case it is to keep his potential baby-bump down to single birth dimensions, Kickass would like to pass on some of the keeper’s thoughts as it pertains to weighing yourself fresh out of the shower: Make sure you are very dry, do not apply deodorant, moisture cream or makeup, shave all unwanted whiskers and hair, trim fingernails, do not use eye-drops, and if you happen to see your naked body in the mirror and burst into tears, do not be distraught at the shed tears because the more tears you shed the less you will weigh.

The keeper likes to think of this kind of thing as passing on “wisdom” garnered over decades of denying that the calories in beer do not matter because beer makes you pee and that too reduces your weight.




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