Kickass and negative wildlife photography

Kickass, the doorstop dog, more or less endorses the keeper’s concept of “negative” wildlife photography, defined as the utter failure of getting what would have been a sensational bird or wildlife photo.  While Facebook is replete with the outstanding work of successful photographers who get hundreds of “likes” and complementary comments, there has been no way—up until now, to recognize those photographers who fail so completely that they should be prohibited from owning a camera.

The keeper was sitting at his computer staring out the window—doing nothing, as usual, when a red-tailed hawk flew up from the lawn, with a grey squirrel clamped in its talons, and landed on the domed top of a tall parking lot lamp post.  It was a very impressive thing to see and the keeper stared at it for several minutes, even grabbed the binoculars and watched a crow dive bomb the hawk.  It finally dawned on the entranced keeper that he should put the big lens on his camera and take a photo.

Moving with the speed of someone trying to catch a train that has already left the station, the keeper finally got the camera together just as the hawk took wing and flew off to have a private squirrel breakfast.

The resulting photo of the vacant top of the parking lot light is offered as an outstanding example of the best “negative” nature photography; and while other entrants are welcome, the keeper feels assured that he will be in the running for wildlife-less photographer of the year.

Eat your hearts out yet again, Davis, Rowen, Elsa, et al.


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