Kickass and new years resolutions

Kickass, the doorstop dog, ate the keeper’s list of New Year’s resolutions to save him—the keeper, from the ignominy of ever having to see it again.  The list was written on a napkin he had used while eating a pot-roast dinner with Phyllis, and, being the sloppy eater that the keeper is, the napkin was not all that unpalatable.

The keeper’s resolutions were, of course, ridiculous, having to do with improving his habits and behavior in the areas of consumption, understanding and tolerance.  Given the keeper’s experience in surviving the past year, there is no way in hell that he could ever change his ways enough to look kindly at those who display such downright stupidity as to dance on the graves of millions of people, to say nothing of  ignoring the desperate plight of those still alive but hungry, homeless and heartbroken.

A friend once suggested to the keeper that most situations, contentious and otherwise, are best dealt with by saying “You may be right.”  The statement is neither acquiescing nor challenging, and invites a tolerable walk-away.

There was some of that sort of thing behind the keeper’s resolution list, and it helped define the list’s absurdity: the keeper is simply too old to develop the character it would take to accept the raw dumbness prevailing in political and cultural quarters over the past four years.  Obviously it is his nature to get damn mad and to rant excessively about it, and he plans to stay that way.

Kickass has eaten his share of homework, but none of it ever tasted as good as the keeper’s New Year’s resolution list.