Kickass and ogling

Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes that the keeper spends a lot of time at the Madison VA eye clinic receiving expert treatment and monitoring that has kept him in the vision game for decades.

As a gesture of appreciation, the keeper reports on a recent conversation he had with a young ophthalmologist-in-training named Lucas.

         Keeper: “As you describe various functions of the eye, Lucas, how would you define ogling?”

         Lucas: “I’m not very good at definitions.”

         Keeper: “Well, there are eye functions like staring and glaring and gazing that are easily understood but ogling not so much.”

         Lucas: “It hasn’t been covered in any of my classes yet.”

         Keeper: “The dictionary says ogling is looking at something with greedy or interested attention, which I have done a lot of.”

         Lucas: “Can we talk about your next appointment?”

         Keeper: “I have ogled cars and expensive flyrods and lots of other items, including Phyllis, of course…”

         Lucas: “Excuse me while I get the doctor’s approval on this report so we can get you out of here and on your way.”