Kickass, the doorstop dog, noting the keeper’s never-ending efforts to make the world a better place and to remain relevant in that world, continues to ignore global conflagration, multiple wars, mass shootings and the political clown show while trying to be helpful with such critical things as retaining sanity while dealing with contemporary packaging.
*Understand that in the interests of safety it is the packaging industry’s mission to device packaging that can only be opened by fully equipped firefighting crews using axes and chainsaws.
*While it may seem otherwise, this is not age related: It is just that younger people have stronger grasping abilities and can more easily see the “open here” instructions.
*Therapy is available for those who take unopenable packages personally and end up clutching a cereal box and sobbing helplessly in a corner of the kitchen.
*Restaurants discourage carrying a hatchet or a bayonet as an aid to opening the cracker package that comes with the soup.
*At the risk of helping the Repubs’ obscene efforts to restrict voting, they might consider putting ballots in plastic packaging.
*The keeper will be having breakfast now, comfortable in the knowledge that he does not need Phyllis’s help in “unpackaging” a couple of eggs.