Kickass, the doorstop dog, is unable to assist the keeper in figuring out just why the Repubs are hell bent on keeping Wisconsin near the head of the pack in the race among states to have the most coronavirus cases and deaths.
In their resistance to masking and other virus-limiting measures, and their insatiable urge to get the cash registers ringing, the Repubs have identified the cornonavirus as being owned by the Democrats and therefore unworthy of serious consideration.
This has moved the keeper to suggest that if viruses are to be politicized—identified as to political party, diseases should also be included, and he—the keeper, urges the Democrats to put in an early claim for the common cold, which would become the “Democratic Sniffles” so that all sneezing, coughing and nose-blowing would more or less become commercials for the Dems. In exchange, the Repubs could claim whooping cough as their very own: “GOP Whoops and Chokes.”
Assigning party affiliation to some of the more serious diseases poses some problems. Dementia seems a lock for the Repubs, as does rheumatism with its symptom of painful movement. The Dems could be identified with diabetes since it is so widespread, and there might be something of a Dem fit with cirrhosis.
The Repubs are supplementing their coronavirus efforts with a campaign built around the innocent stupidity and biological excesses of youth whereby beach parties are a leading feature. It could logically be labeled “Republican skin cancer and more.”