Kickass and POTUS as turkey

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports on the strange circumstance of the POTUS being mistaken for the Thanksgiving turkey which occurred during a pre-holiday shopping frenzy at a D.C. food market.  Severe congestion in frozen foods is blamed for the poor visibility that caused an elderly shopper to assume a pudgy man bending over to pick up a mysterious golf ball was, as she saw it, a large stuffed turkey that had been basted with orange gravy.  Trouble ensued when the shopper attempted to load the orange turkey into her shopping cart, and it suddenly began to make tweeting sounds in which it claimed to be POTUS.  “Impossible,” the startled shopper said.  “You are a pre-stuffed turkey and you are exactly where you belong, here with all the rest of the turkeys.”  The shopper enlisted help from other shoppers to load POTUS into her cart, and she then headed for check-out as POTUS tweeted, “This is a hoax.  I’m not a turkey.  A ham maybe, but not a turkey.  Fake news.”