Kickass, the doorstop dog, since he does not have a telephone, can offer only modest help to the keeper as he—the keeper continues to adjusts his communications skills in conversing with computer generated recordings. Earlier it had been the practice of the keeper to respond to a recorded voice by shouting, “………. Oh, it probably isn’t necessary to go verbatim here. Suffice it to say the keeper not only habitually took the Lord’s name in vain, he also suggested a number of physically impossible feats for who or whatever was on the other end of the conversation.
This response obviously had no effect on the recorded end of the line but served only to boost the keeper’s blood pressure and get him glances of disapproval from anyone within hearing on his end of things.
It finally got through to the keeper that venting to a mechanical telephone voice makes no more sense than talking back to a televised Trump. So now when the recorded “Press one” voice comes on, the keeper swipes the telephone with his middle finger, the same one he uses for Trump, and reaches for his brandy flask or a cold beer. Some days, depending on the number of recorded voices or Trump tweets, the keeper has been known to break into song early in the afternoon: “God rest ye merry gentlemen…….”