Kickass and smarter than fish

Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes that the keeper and his ilk having long ago lost out to dogs and cats as to which species is the smartest, now begins another annual competition with fish, which, as everyone knows, have pea-sized brains. After a lifetime of competition—during which he could have taken up something more sensible, like rugby or skydiving, the keeper is apparently in for yet one more season of fish vs. man.  Early indications are that his loser identity is firmly in place, and compounded by his age-altered vision that has him standing for long minutes trying vainly to thread a very thin monofilament leader through the very small eye of an impossibly small artificial fly.  Were you to see him, you might mistake him for an odd shaped blue heron, standing immobile next to a stream and seemingly doing nothing that would produce fish.  The keeper once wrote a book—“Trout Friends and Other Riff-raff,” and he may be inadvertently gathering material for a sequel.  He is thinking of titling it, “The Old Man and the See.”