Kickass, the doorstop dog, suggests that the keeper try to control his—the keeper’s, excitement over the rumored trade between Minnesota and Wisconsin in which foul-ball hitter and debase runner Ron Johnson is to be exchanged for the My-Pillow futility way-out outfielder Mike Lindell who holds the record for past balls, broken bats and reverse base running.
Both Johnson and Lindell have played for the Bone Heads, a minor league team from Swampus Florida that was managed by the legendary Casey Conehead during his Mayday blundering.
Wisconsin sees the trade as means of diverting attention away from the very serious Rodgers/Packers issue, while Minnesota is willing to do almost anything to—as one gopher put it–“Get rid of that incredibly stupid pillow SOB.”
Three truck-loads of Koch gold will be part of the Johnson deal for Minnesota, while Wisconsin will receive 10,000 pillows to be distributed to the Repub legislators for use during their to-hell-with-the-public caucus nap-times.
The rumored trade is the stuff of great sports reporting, and, while the keeper does his best to be modest, he takes a bow for what could just as well have been a Pulitzer had the prizes not already been awarded for the year.