Kickass

Kickass and staying inside

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, having ventured out yesterday in the wind that was so biting cold it ripped his clothes off and left him shivering naked, is announcing that he will not be going outside again until May of 2023.

An obvious advantage of life at Vista West type facilities is that it is not necessary to leave a warm building for any of the necessities of life, like wine and Oreos.

The days when the keeper challenged winter by sleeping in a deer yard at 30 below zero or participated in the Birkebeiner are long gone and good riddance.

There is a new measurement to go along with “wind chill.”  Specifically for use by those in the keeper’s age group. It is the “Stay Inside” (SI) gauge that can best be read by looking out the window, noting the white landscape and vowing to not venture out until things turn green.

A high SI reading is also a warning that venturing out carries the probability of falling on your ass and breaking something.

The keeper and Phyllis will see everyone next May.

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