Kickass and students for sale

Kickass, the doorstop dog, looks over the keeper’s shoulder as he—the keeper drafts a Craigslist ad on behalf of his home town of Madison which finds itself in possession of hundreds of UW students with “scratch and dent” damage relating to the coronavirus.

These students returned to the UW campus earlier this summer and began partying and acting as irresponsible as students always have; and as a result the cases of coronavirus began to skyrocket in Madison.  Dane county exec Parisi told the UW to send the students back to their homes, but the “home” neighborhoods are not all that excited about virus-exposed students coming back to be with grandma and grandpa and everyone else.  The UW said the best it could do was to gather the partying students in a couple of dorms and then nail the doors shut.

For his part, the keeper says he and Phyllis are not going downtown until contaminated students have been irradiated, which is too bad as it has always been inspirational and invigorating to stroll along State Street in the early autumn and soak up some of the aura of youth and vigor.

So here’s the keeper’s Craigslist ad: “For Sale by Owner: Several hundred UW students complete with total illusions of invincibility and immunity, but with possible viral exposure, and the encumbrance of debilitating student loans.  Suggested use as lawn ornaments, political protestors, statue removers or members of scientific beer and cheese tasting panels. Masks not included.  Will not deliver”


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