Kickass and tee totaling

Kickass, the doorstop dog, has been around the keeper long enough to discount any hint of moral leadership, and so his—the keeper’s decision of several days ago to forego his daily intake of alcohol is, as it has been during such episodes in the past, nothing more than an effort to reduce his baby-bump which was easing toward “twins” status.

To stop drinking is not a difficult thing for the keeper to do—as Twain said of smoking, “It is easy to quit and I have done it a thousand times.”  He—the keeper once wrote a newspaper series about giving up booze.  Called “Drink, Drank, Drunk,” in which he profiled the role of alcohol in society, including his own woeful experience. There was an intense reader response, and the series was reprinted in pamphlet form which is available to this day under the keeper’s name on Amazon.

So at this stage in the drinking game, the keeper does not make a big deal out of forgoing his daily medicinal Korbel brandy and dinner wine.  He simply got a side view of himself in the bathroom mirror and a glance at the bathroom scale; and he announced his tee-totaling plan to Phyllis, who was supportive to the point of joining in to a degree.

There is also, of course, the current partial fumigating of the political scene.  This positive development seems to dim the illusion that tolerating abject stupidity in high places is made possible only with strong drink.

Going on the wagon, according to health geeks has a positive effect on sleep, weight, mood, willpower, skin condition, friendship and money.  The keeper takes that all in and looks forward to the day when his profile indicates potential for only a single birth.  Then he will drag out Twain again: “What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.”

The day will come when the keeper will resume “properly conducted licensed liquor traffic” but there is no hurry.  Korbel does not evaporate in a sealed bottle, and in the meantime, there is the possibility of moister skin.





Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

3 − one =