Kickass and the bedroom pitchfork

Kickass, the doorstop dog, does not understand the keeper’s pack-rat mentality that has him virtually unable to throw anything away.  Even more baffling is his propensity for adding to the collection of (Word choice: junk, antiques, mementoes, family treasures, outright trash) that takes up space all over the property.  He even has what he calls a shrine to himself in the bedroom where rough shelves display tokens of his misspent life—Army paraphernalia, work souvenirs, childhood trinkets, etc.  At one point he even had a standard farm pitchfork standing in a bedroom corner because it reminded him of his boyhood of summer hay-making back on the farm.  He finally removed the pitchfork lest its presence be misinterpreted by anyone wandering into the bedroom, and because Phyllis, who is not junk-sick, remarked that maybe “we” could get rid of some clutter.  Kickass agrees with Phyllis and suggests that in keeping with practical dog tactics, much of what the keeper considers treasure should be buried out in the back yard, and the pitchfork should definitely be left out in the shed.
(See billstokes.com for more Kickass and news of the novel MARGARET’S WAR.)