Kickass

Kickass and the cicada interview

Kickass, the doorstop dog, will be using his extraordinary communication powers to help the keeper interview the Maryland cicada that recently landed on Joe Biden’s shirt collar.

Kickass: “The QAnon idiots say you may be a sign of something.  What might that be?”

Cicada: “That I am the premature reincarnation of Mitch McConnell.”

Kickass: “And the truth is?”

Cicada: “Mitch is still buried under six inches of dirt along with the entire GOP 100-year swarm and may never emerge. My contact with Pres. Joe was both personal and political.”

Kickass: “And it was?”

Cicada: “I was trying to make the point that being buried for 17 years is not unlike the gerrymandered political absurdity now in place, and something needs to be done.”

Kickass: “And that would be?”

Cicada: “A national recipe for cicada soup must be adopted—obviously without bipartisan support, and this soup must be force fed to the rich one-percent until there is a realization that everyone has to eat, especially from the community bowl of the high-protein cicada soup.”

Kickass: “And Pres. Joe’s reaction was?”

Cicada: “While the video from Maryland showed what appeared to be a shirt-collar brush-off, Joe said he would do his best to encourage soup sharing and everyone should bring a personal bowl and get ready to join in the coming cicada soup festivities.”

One of the millions of periodical cicadas in the area clings to a leaf on Saturday, June 1, 2019 after it emerged from a 17-year hibernation in Zelienople, Pa. The insects come out of the ground once the temperature reaches optimum, then climb into trees and make a droning sound to attract mates to breed. Their activity will peak between mid-May and mid-June, and then die off about four weeks after first emerging according to the Department of Agriculture web page. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

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