Kickass and the coronavirus bus

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that since the head-on, rib-fracturing collision experienced by the keeper and Phyllis a couple of weeks ago, the keeper tends to see everything in traffic terms, including the coronavirus.  In the keeper’s take on coronavirus, everyone is riding on a beat-up, red-white and blue bus being driven in the wrong traffic lane by a man who, instead of obeying traffic signals, shouts “Praise the Lord,” as he barrels through the intersections.  Pacing the bus aisle with a tweeting bullhorn is an orange-haired tour guide who touts the wisdom of Thelma and Louise in driving over the edge of the cliff to escape the pursuing Democratic posse.  As the speeding coronavirus bus approaches the cliff edge with its inevitable catastrophic end, the orange tour guide tweets that the coronavirus will boost the economy by providing jobs in the funeral and casket areas. “Make America Grovel Again,” he tweets, and those riding in the front seats of the coronavirus bus stand up and cheer.

(Kickass says the keeper’s preoccupation with traffic issues will likely last as long as he and Phyllis cannot laugh because of the rib pain it brings on.)


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