Kickass and the day shrinker


Kickass, the doorstop dog, is working with the keeper to make the Handy-Dandy Day Shrinker (HDDS) available to all those who experience adverse effects from the advent of daylight savings time, which starts this weekend.  The HD day shrinker works in conjunction with a reclining chair or a bed, and consists of a blanket-sized, opaque  cover which can be pulled up over the user’s head, thus preventing him or her from watching TV—especially political commentators, and will also make it impossible to look out the window at the ugly winter weather.  A HD Day-Shrinker user’s manual suggests extensive use through all of the next six months, and includes a chart showing that the older the user is the more the HDDS should be used.  The elderly user is instructed to entertain pleasant thoughts, mentally inventory the past glories of his/her life, and occasionally throw off the HDDS to shout either “Merry Christmas” or  “Happy Groundhogs day,”

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