Kickass, the doorstop dog, watched as Phyllis harvested the bean crop from her Garden of Eat’em, which she planted over a base of Britannica encyclopedias, apparently thinking it just might improve the keeper’s mental acumen through some mysterious osmosis process. There may be something to this: The keeper helped prepare the beans for the freezer, and immediately after this bean exposure he had what at first seemed to be an original thought. However, the keeper’s unexpected brain activity turned out to be related to intestinal gas even though the keeper had only handled the beans and had not eaten any of them. Osmosis, apparently. Phyllis loves her garden, and the keeper observes that it seems to be making her smarter by the hour. Yesterday she perfected a filing system for the keeper’s promotion of his novel Margaret’s War that was ingenious. Who knows what the ripening tomato crop will bring!