Kickass

Kickass and the great Norwegian

Kickass, the doorstop dog, agrees with the keeper that removing the symbols of narcissistic stupidity—statues and flags representing treasonous abusers of Native Americans and Blacks, is a necessary first step in fumigating the populace; and he—the keeper hastens to provide information to protect the statue of Col. Hans Christian Heg on the King Street corner of Madison’s Capital Square.

The keeper says the fact that he had a beloved Norwegian mother has nothing to do with it, and he simply feels that it is important for the often-impulsive protestors and statue-topplers to know that Col Heg was one heroic Norwegian, leading his Scandinavian regiment to Civil War victories in Kentucky and Tennessee before being killed in battle in 1863.

On the other side of the Square, of course, is the statue of Miss Forward and on top of the Capital, in her gold cloak, is Miss Wisconsin, both of whom, for obvious reasons, seem safe from toppling.

The keeper says in these days of negative chaos, it seems important to do something positive—like protecting the memory of a great Norwegian, and Kickass agrees.

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