Kickass and the icicle affair

Kickass, the doorstop dog, kept in a state of constant turmoil by the keeper’s reckless emotional slaloms down the great slope of life, is now charged with helping him deal with relationship issues concerning the icicle that hung from the roof in front of his computer window.

Tip-toeing here to avoid alerting the dementia police, the keeper reports that he developed an attachment to the icicle some weeks ago as it formed and reformed in what could have been seen as a flirtation.  In the keeper’s current restricted life of no pets and a very limited exposure to Nature, the icicle came to represent a necessary diversion, something to think about beyond his own uneventful existence or the political chaos.  He watched as the icicle grew and shrank, depending on temperature and precipitation, at one point reaching a length of at least six feet which the keeper found pretty exciting.  It prompted vague concern about the possibility of the icicle falling on somebody and maybe killing them, which could be the start of a murder mystery if the keeper would get off his fanny and write it, which seems unlikely.

Then the frigid February did a back flip and a wholesale thaw set in.  The keeper watched through the day as “his” icicle literally melted to death before his very eyes. When it was over, there was nothing left, not even enough ice to cool the drinks when the keeper and Phyllis head out on their first 2021 picnic, which, according to the melting icicle, could be soon.

Kickass, while reminding the keeper that March can and usually does provide icicles big enough to crush cars, suggests holding off on making the ham sandwiches and potato salad, but notes that there is a definite change in the air.