Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in celebrating the first day of autumn today, which may be the last one in history as the Trump administration dismisses the tilting and rotation of the earth as a “hoax.” In a speech to followers who were standing waist-deep in the water of a Florida floodplain, the POTUS said the first day of autumn was an illusion brought on by liberals who have been mating with aliens. The POTUS added that the trees will not be turning color this fall but will remain green—the color of money, to mark the growing concentration of wealth within the Mar-A-Lago crowd.
The absence of winter, Trump points out, will make it easier for the 20 million unemployed Americans to get out and chew tree bark in order to survive, since Mitch and his crew are too busy with judge-issue hypocrisy to pass a critical stimulus bill.
(The keeper’s cataract op. went well and he appreciates the good wishes.)