Kickass and the lost hearing aid
Kickass, the doorstop dog, stands aside as the keeper demands the floor to get down the details of the following while they are still fresh in what passes for his mind:
It is the day before Christmas and at the entrance to Aldi’s grocery store cart-shelter on a very windy, cold, snowy morning, the keeper is fumbling with steamed-up eye glasses, the covid-mask elastic around his ears, turned-up coat collar and a quarter to put in the Aldi cart slot to release it for use, when one of his hearing aids falls out and disappears down into the leaf and grass debris under the carts.
The keeper freezes, in more ways than one, and gets a sinking feeling as he looks down to see only the wind-blown debris, most of it the same color as his hearing aid. He gets down on his hands and knees, but still sees nothing but debris.. Maybe the hearing aid did not fall but is caught somewhere in his clothing. The keeper, still down on his knees, takes off his jacket and a winter vest, and thinks about taking off his shirt. Another shopper looks down at him and says, “Hey buddy, need a quarter?”
The keeper considers explaining his problem before somebody goes to store management and reports an old man out in the cart area down on his knees, pawing through the leafy debris while taking off his clothes.
Finally, after 20 or so freezing/frustrating minutes, the keeper hauls himself to his feet—which is more of a task these days than it should be–while feeling an overwhelming sense of despair at having lost one of the hearing aids that he had inherited from Phyllis when she got new ones. The aids had been very workable, and while others think the keeper needs hearing aids more than he thinks he needs them, it had been nice to hear birdsong clearly again, and not have to ask for the remote to turn up the TV volume. There was also the matter of the expensive aids being more or less free, the kind of thing dear to the keeper’s heart.
The keeper gives up—shivering and unspeakably distraught, puts his clothes back on, goes into the store and fights the urge to cry until he gets past the produce section. Then a combination of anger and determination sets in, and the keeper returns to the cart area; and, damn, there it is, hidden under a wilted leaf—the lost hearing aid. A Christmas miracle! The keeper finishes shopping, goes home and asks Phyllis if she thinks it is too early in the day to have a drink?
“Well,” she says, “It ‘IS’ Christmas Eve.”
