Kickass and the Maze of Life

Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in acknowledging the season of Halloween corn mazes and haunted houses by offering instructions for surviving the ultimate Maze-of-Life in this time of coronavirus and political spookiness.

Maze-of-life START:

Place protective mask over mouth and nose, and advance down row of tweeting tall tales until there is a sharp turn to the right that is guarded by narcissistic, sycophantic science-deniers all wearing Mitch McConnell togas and shouting “TRICKS OR TRUMP!”

Do not take this right turn, but continue along the main Maze-of-Life route until you reach a “T” intersection where there will be a “lemonade” stand dispensing “coronavirus-curing Kool Aide.”  Ignore the Oz-like tweeting voice proclaiming the Kool Aide’s miraculous curative properties and DO NOT drink any of it.

Proceed until you come to a dead end that is marked by a sign reading, “You are here!”

Do a u-turn and follow your innate sense of decency and self respect to the Maze-of-Life exit where there will be a small enclosure marked “Voting Booth.”

Enter into this booth and do what needs to be done.

Remove mask and have a celebratory Maze-of-Life drink.

Have another.

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