Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in acknowledging the season of Halloween corn mazes and haunted houses by offering instructions for surviving the ultimate Maze-of-Life in this time of coronavirus and political spookiness.
Place protective mask over mouth and nose, and advance down row of tweeting tall tales until there is a sharp turn to the right that is guarded by narcissistic, sycophantic science-deniers all wearing Mitch McConnell togas and shouting “TRICKS OR TRUMP!”
Do not take this right turn, but continue along the main Maze-of-Life route until you reach a “T” intersection where there will be a “lemonade” stand dispensing “coronavirus-curing Kool Aide.” Ignore the Oz-like tweeting voice proclaiming the Kool Aide’s miraculous curative properties and DO NOT drink any of it.
Proceed until you come to a dead end that is marked by a sign reading, “You are here!”
Do a u-turn and follow your innate sense of decency and self respect to the Maze-of-Life exit where there will be a small enclosure marked “Voting Booth.”
Enter into this booth and do what needs to be done.
Remove mask and have a celebratory Maze-of-Life drink.