Kickass and the morning after
Kickass, the doorstop dog, says there was something different about waking up this morning. It was yet one more gray November day but the sun was shining! The keeper says the reason for such a phenomenon is a little known quirk buried deep in the DNA of Wisconsin residents that—like the appendix, has an ill defined function, which in this case is fighting off narcissism and boosting the emergence of decency and compassion.
Kickass has a more practical take. He says it is like being infested for years with a bad case of very itchy lice, and waking up to find that they are suddenly gone—or at least on the way out, and there is no longer this undeniable urge to scratch until hair falls out in bunches and you develop a constant whine.
In examining the morning in greater detail, the keeper says its cloudy/rosy character somehow emanates from the Capitol dome where the 15-foot tall female statue of “Wisconsin” was actually seen beckoning suggestively to the statue of the eternal Norwegian on the King Street corner of Capital Square. The keeper insists that “Wisconsin” felt so good about a recent political development that she wanted to kiss the Norwegian on the mouth, providing he was not chewing tobacco at the time.