Kickass

Kickass and the news summary

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has finally managed to sort through the morning news and offers the following summary: 150 mph winds will blow the roof off the White House tonight just as 1,500 NRA members arrive from Sturgis on their Harleys while bearing guns and coronavirus contamination as well as spiritual guidance from Jerry Falwell Jr. and the pool boy, and Lou Holtz who is an authority on how women should use their bodies, his expertise coming from years of encouraging young men to bash their brains out playing a game for a Catholic college.  Professional Black athletes, in the meantime, have refused to perform under the Jim Crow rules sanctioned by billionaire team owners and infused into the present culture to the extent of being shot in the back by police.

Also in the meantime, FLOX commentator Mucker Carlson will double down on his assessment of the Kenosha 17-year-old murderer as the only one who cares enough to do something about the protestors; and women at the RNC will give more speeches in which they say the POTUS is such a nice man and has done so much for women, especially Stormy Daniels.

Asked about the million or so people threatened with death from the hurricane, the POTUS, noted that it was more temporary than the coronavirus, and if people died, “It is what it is.” He added, “Let them eat crawdads.”

Kickass is suggesting, with no confidence that it will be followed, that the keeper stay away from his medicinal Korbel bottle and follow Pence’s suggestion to pray, or was that “prey?”.

 

 

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