Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that for the past couple of years, the keeper has received a monthly two-page statement from Ameritrade reporting on his “portfolio” at a value of 0.01 dollars, or one cent. Each report notes that the current value of 0.01 is the same as the prior value of 0.01, and despite a listed estimated yield of .05 % there has been no change in the value of 0.01.
Given the current chaos in the stock market and fears of a recession, the keeper does not plan to make any changes in his portfolio, which should certainly have a stabilizing influence on things.
The keeper claims this is yet one more instance of his unselfish efforts to do good for others, and considering the holiday season, he wishes everyone a 0.01 Merry Christmas. Kickass concurs.