Kickass, the doorstop dog, is repeatedly forced to listen to the keeper’s accounts of Christmas’s past when he—the keeper worked for a newspaper editor who insisted that each Christmas season, the keeper get into a Santa suit and do some dumb thing like try to hitch-hike from Prairie du Sac to Madison. Rides were few and far between until a hardy young man in a pickup stopped and shouted, “Come on, Santa, we’re going to the tavern.”
As a bell-ringing Santa on Capital Square, the disguised keeper forced an unsuspecting friend to put all of his money into the red bucket, and was after the friend’s checkbook before it ended.
And on another occasion, the police were called when the keeper Santa was thought to be a neighborhood window peeper. The keeper sort of misses those phony Santa days. He says it would be fun to put on the red suit and sneak into Republican gatherings with lumps of coal.