Kickass and the Prius
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has made a significant contribution to his record of doing really stupid things: After parking Phyllis’s little red Prius Hybrid in the garage, he dropped the ignition key on the dash and it, along with the security controller, fell onto the steering column, slid behind a piece of cloth and disappeared down into a totally inaccessible cavern below the dashboard. Few things give the keeper more delight than getting himself out of absurd jams of his own making and so he gathered flashlight, magnets, mirror screw driver, and various other tools and went at the key–eating Prius with the mindset of a surgeon doing an appendectomy. An hour and a half later, after wrenching his back, jamming his fingers, bumping his head repeatedly and taking his profane vocabulary to its outer limits, the keeper admitted defeat and self-medicated with Korbel. Fortunately Phyllis had a spare key, but the keeper will not be touching it. Instead he will be brooding over what is an apparent enmity between him and the Prius that seems to have arisen out of the keeper’s fumbling to operate a vehicle that, at times, makes no more noise than a sleeping cat, and shows a sign that says “Ready” when the keeper obviously is not.