Kickass and the Queen’s Corgis

Kickass, the doorstop dog, would like to send a brief message to the Queen’s Corgis regarding the American who is coming to tea:

Do not bite him as he has not had his rabies shot and as a result displays constant bouts of madness during which he froths at the mouth, bites the hands that feed him, runs in circles chasing his– and others’ tail, and is definitely not house-broken.

When he insults the Queen, which he certainly will do, tell him the Queen once owned his country but got rid of it to a rag-tag bunch of immigrants who made it into the greatest show on earth, and he is simply a temporary sideshow—like the fat lady or the guy with a shovel who picks up after the elephants, especially the DC elephants.