Kickass, the doorstop dog, is trying to help the keeper ease the suffering of the sport deprived sports fans by suggesting a new competitive sport called “Who You,” in which masked fans socially distance themselves in their customary sports arena places or at random locations and try to identify the person sitting six feet away. Since only the eyes show above coronavirus masks for identification purposes, the sport of “Who You” would give clear indications of who has a history of looking others in the eye, and who does not. Should “Who-You” be played by a married couple, failure to recognize the opposing player could have more serious consequences, indicating, of course, that proper eye contact has obviously not been part of the relationship, which, in turn, indicates god knows what!
The keeper is not under any illusions about “Who-You” replacing the NFL or MLB, or even curling tournaments, but so long as mask-wearing is a part of daily life, it might as well also be a sport. Scoring is done by measuring the time it takes to recognize another mask wearer, and by how occasions of mistaken identity are handled.