Kickass and the state of the hereafter

Kickass, the doorstop dog, cautions those who would question his unique ability to communicate with all things on Heaven and Earth, for example, his overhearing the “State of the Hereafter|” speech given recently by God Himself:

“My Heavenly friends, the state of the Hereafter is shaky and there will be some rearranging to improve things.  First of all, considering what happened at a recent Earthly Prayer Breakfast, we will be conducting a Last Breakfast in the mode of the Last Supper.  The Heavenly computers are simply not up to sorting through the tangled mess of prayers that overloaded the system last Wednesday morning, and the Computer Apostles report that many prayers arrived asking Me to use lightning to strike dead a large number of those who are not members of My base.

“Obviously I cannot do that lest we lose our tax-free status and our system gets hacked by liberal heathens.

“Now, everyone get over on this side of the table for the official Last Breakfast selfie; and I hope we have seen the last of ripping pancakes in half, or use of the word ‘bull—-‘ by Prayer Breakfast participants.

“(Instead of washing feet as I did at the Last Supper, let’s settle for Last Breakfast hi-fives.  Try not to drip syrup on your togas.”)