Kickass and the statue of liberty

Kickass, the doorstop dog, tries to be patient with the keeper’s reminiscing, even his—the keeper’s, account of suffering sudden debilitating intestinal cramping while on the small circular, 154-step stairs leading to the Statue of Liberty’s crown, to the point that his—the keeper’s sphincter muscles were so challenged they seemed to turn to steal as the keeper considered the result of an accidental digestive release for the dozens of people on the stairs directly beneath him.

Obviously, in the keeper’s judgment, this would mean closing the soiled statue, maybe permanently, and him being charged with destroying public property.

This sudden onset of cramping—calling for immediate attention, was an infrequent travel occurrence for the keeper, but it never was so downright terrifying as at the Statue of Liberty.

The keeper claims he is probably one of the few visitors who climbed to the crown of the Statue of Liberty and did not look out through one of the viewing portals, but proceeded immediately to the “down” stairway, while engaged in prayer over a highly personal issue.

That the keeper made it to the statue’s base and the restroom there will forever be considered by him to be a miracle, and he thanks the Almighty for it.

So ends the keeper’s report in these days of statue machinations, leaving Kickass puzzled over just how it might have contemporary application.

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