Kickass and the Super Bore

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper resigned several years ago from all things football due to a concussion he suffered when he fell against the refrigerator while rushing to replenish his beer supply without missing one fascinating second of young men bashing their brains out for the benefit of narcissistic billionaires.  So today’s Super Bore is just that, a grotesque spectacle of the masses being manipulated like so many sheep, or goats, if you like, since goats will eat anything, including Cheetos, bloody hamburgers and stinky cheese.  It will be the keeper’s intention today during the Super Bore to add to his vast store of knowledge by reading the complete works of Mike Pence, which includes “The Shadow President,” wherein Pence makes it clear he has no connection with the shadow-seeing groundhog of yesterday and has developed a peculiar trance-like state for use when assuming a posture of adulation in the presence of the Orange rodent currently occupying the White House.  Should the keeper get through the voluminous Pence works, he will spend the rest of the Super Bore time continuing his efforts at honing what could well become the next National obsession—“WALLowing” in which the populace transfixes on building and then running into a wall until everyone has sufficient skull fractures to explain their erratic behavior.

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