Kickass, the doorstop dog, was included in the breakfast crowd this morning which was dominated by a hundred of so cedar waxwings dining on the tiny blue berries of the deck juniper tree. Down from their Canadian summer homes, the waxwings presence in Wisconsin at this time and their apparent plans to keep heading south motivated Kickass to engage his special powers of communication with all things, and the following is some of that:
Kickass: So you guys think you are pretty smart, migrating to stay with pleasant seasonal weather amidst those of us who choose to spend the winter up to our asses in snow and ice.
Waxwing: “Well, we are smart. We look smart and we are smart.
Kickass: “What about the time some of you ate fermented berries at the keeper’s daughter’s farm and crashed suicidally into the side of her house.
Waxwing: A breakdown in leadership. One of the flock leaders convinced the others that if they flew into the side of the house at high speed it would make them great again. He—this leader, neglected to say it would also make them dead.
Kickass: My keeper wants to know if that suicide leader had any orange feathers, and he—the keeper also wants directions to the best source of fermented berries.